Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. (Matt. 6:28-29)
When we chose Lillie Anna's name, we had this scripture in mind. We were dwelling on God's infinite wisdom and his promise of provision, and we felt this scripture painted the perfect picture (and reminder) of both. We weren't planning to get pregnant with Lillie Anna, and were initially nervous about adding to our family, but God KNEW what our family and what this world needed.
We've unintentionally tested the Lord over the past few years. I felt called to homeschool and was TERRIFIED...would I have enough patience?...would I have enough knowledge?...would we have enough money to purchase the proper curriculum? God has answered each question with a resounding -YES-! The peace that has come from stepping out on that leap of faith and following the Lord's guiding has been incredible...not once have I regretted that decision! Don't get me wrong, it hasn't been easy all the time, but if you know what you're doing has God's stamp of approval, then the decision to push through the bad days is worth every second! And the personal growth I've seen in my own life...I tell ya', easy peaceful days won't stretch you...days where your patience is tried, your endurance is tested, your knees are forced to bend to the ground in prayer for grace...THAT is where the real blessings come!
Another way we unintentionally tested the Lord's provision was the day Chad and I decided I needed to quit working at the preschool and lean solely on Chad's business so that I could focus on our home. Scary doesn't even cover it! I can't tell you how many people approached me with words of fear - they weren't trying to be unGodly, but human nature says lean on YOURSELF...human nature says trust the TANGIBLE. My own boss sat me down and said he was very worried about me losing my income if I quit because of the economy...I loved my boss dearly and he cared about our family - but He wasn't trusting that the Lord was BIGGER then the stock market. Despite these concerns, we trusted the Lord and in the past two years, we have watched Chad's business grow to the point of him having to hire multiple employees...he's now working in Georgia and South Carolina and is covering the entire state of Florida. I don't share that with pride, but to praise the Lord and encourage anyone who is feeling led to step out in faith...if God is leading you to something, He'll see you through it!
And lastly, our little Lillie Anna. The Lord knew we needed her - He knew she would be the perfect fit with our family. He knew she would spread joy and peace and that she would be yet another example of the Lord always being with us. As I said earlier, we were nervous...would we survive the sleepless nights?...would our house be large enough for three children?...would our finances stretch to feed another mouth? These fears seem humorous now! Although I could never lie and say that the past two years have been a breeze, I can say that Chad and I are stronger in our faith and are so much more grounded on what truly matters in this life. We know where our help comes from!
So, with Lillie's precious life has come some real soul searching. What have we closed our hearts to out of fear? We've been in prayer that God will use us as His hands and feet...but where, and how? We pray for clean hearts, a right spirit and that He will draw us in to His spirit and reveal how He desires to use us!